More than 60% of adults have had a workplace romance, according to a 2024 survey conducted by Forbes.

In many cases, the consequences were benign. Forty-three percent of workplace romances led to marriage, so no harm, no foul.

But workplace romantic entanglements can also lead to trouble. The survey indicated that 40% of workplace romances involved cheating on an existing partner. When there is scandal associated with the pairing, it may result in workplace gossip, reduced productivity, and a potential sexual harassment complaint.  Even when the relationship is exclusive, it can lead to a perception of favoritism.

All You Need is Love?

Valentine’s Day may invite people to express feelings they may have kept in check for an extended period. While most employers have no interest in policing people’s personal lives, companies do need to protect employees from a romantic pursuit that may turn into harassment, stalking, or worse. Because relationships are not always disclosed, HR can be left asking, “How long has this been going on?”

Some of the details in the Forbes survey include:

• 57% report workplace relationships have impacted their work performance
• 35% don’t report their relationship to their employer
• 50% report flirting with their co-workers

Sixty-five percent of respondents indicated that convenience (proximity) was a driving force behind workplace romances. The second leading factor is a lack of time outside work to meet people, with 61% of respondents citing this as a key reason for dating someone at work.

Work-Life Unbalanced

Blending personal and work life seems to impact employees’ (wait for it) work-life balance. In fact, of the respondents who reported having had a workplace romance, 54% said that their relationship affected their work-life balance:

• More than 50% of respondents say their relationship impacted how their co-workers treated them.
• Thirty-three percent said it increased jealousy, and nearly 50% said it increased workplace gossip.
• The typical employee involved in a workplace relationship is more than two times more likely to marry a coworker than someone from a dating site or app.
• Nearly half of all people who have had a workplace romance have left their job to pursue their colleague of interest.

But what happens when it all goes south? Nearly 30% of couples in workplace relationships create a breakup plan. Akin to a prenuptial agreement, it outlines how the two colleagues will handle their jobs if they break up.

Why Does HR Need to Know?

Sixty-two percent of people in workplace romances report their relationship to HR. Once HR has that knowledge, the department may let the relationship run.  If there is potential for favoritism, they may approach the couple to discuss what needs to be done to eliminate any appearance of favoritism, perhaps by reassigning one of the employees.  In some situations, mainly when there is a marked imbalance of power in the relationship, the employer may need to intervene to protect itself from harassment claims.

Other Surprising Findings

• Forty-six percent of respondents said they had unrequited and unexpressed romantic feelings towards a colleague.
• Thirty-nine percent admitted to having a secret romance at work.
• Seventeen percent had a one-night stand with a coworker.
• Fewer than 1 in 5 say dating a colleague is unprofessional, but only 5% said they were comfortable with colleagues being romantically involved.
• Maintaining privacy while in a workplace relationship often proves a challenge. Some 58% reported hearing gossip about workplace relationships.
• While nearly 60% of respondents said they had heard gossip about workplace romances, only half reported being distracted by workplace romances.
• Forty-one percent are uncomfortable with public displays of affection from co-workers
• Almost 50% believe workplace relationships promote favoritism

Should Employers Have a Dating Policy?

Should a company create a policy that limits or defines the situations in which an office romance could develop? Should the company ignore it and hope it doesn’t disrupt the business? Should the company ask people to sign a love contract?

Employers need to consider how significant a disruption the workplace romance will cause.  For example, suppose HR or other managers notice a trend in some workplace romances. In that case, a company may want to consider drafting a policy that limits and/or defines the boundaries of workplace romances. Each company’s situation will likely be unique and may need to be tailored accordingly.

According to SHRM, soured workplace romantic relationships may lead to issues HR professionals and business owners cannot ignore – from accusations of poor judgment and lost productivity to ethical breaches, favoritism, and harassment. They can even prompt litigation if one employee uses the relationship as a basis for a harassment or discrimination lawsuit. This risk prompts many employers to adopt policies governing romance in the workplace.

TMI: The Morality Question

Another challenging issue that employers may face is the morality question around workplace romances. Many employees think that workplace romances are acceptable if they do not involve subordinate or superior relationships. Other employees take a very moralistic approach and may feel deeply offended by the behavior in the workplace, especially if one of the parties is married. It gets further complicated when the married employee asks coworkers to lie on his or her behalf or otherwise begin to drag the company into the situation.

Twenty-two percent of workers said they had dated their boss.  Twenty-seven percent of women admitted to going out with someone who was their superior, while only 16% of male workers admitted it.

Once is Not Enough

According to one survey, nearly three-quarters of all people who had a workplace romance would be willing to do it again with the same or a different partner.

On the other hand, claims of sexual harassment are the number one reason people avoid romantic office relationships. Thirty-seven percent of employees in a different survey said that they purposefully avoided any romance at their workplace, and almost 20% cited fear of claims of sexual harassment as the reason.

In a society and culture that features constant advertisements, shows, movies, and literature about sex and romance, it is no great surprise that romantic relationships begin, flourish, and die in the workplace.

The Role of Sexual Harassment Policies

In Massachusetts, employers with six or more employees must distribute their sexual harassment prevention policy at the time of hire and annually. Additionally, the new 2024 MCAD guidance strongly recommends training employees on recognizing and addressing workplace harassment.

AIM HR Solutions’ Helpline is a resource for members who have questions about harassment or discrimination in their workplace. Call the Helpline at 800-470-6277 or email helpline@AIMHRSolutions.com.

If you need information on rolling out a policy, reviewing your handbook, or scheduling harassment or discrimination prevention training, AIM HR Solutions can help; call us at 617.488.8321 or visit our website at www.AIMHRSolutions.com.